I saw this article and it's so spot-on, I simply had to share it! Do you agree with the article? How did you knew your beloved was The One? Do leave a comment and share your romantic stories with me...
Part time fling or long term lover? It's the eternal question. He's cute, funny and your friends love him, but is that enough? How do you know he's 'the one'? Here are 10 factors to consider and if you can meet at least nine of them then hold tight because he might just be the one you've been looking for.
He makes you laugh until you cry
A sense of the humour is one of the most appealing qualities in a man and sharing the same jokes will keep you close, whatever comes your way. It doesn't matter if no one else finds you funny, as long as you can make each other laugh out loud.
You want the same things out of life
If you want to settle down and have a family and he wants to travel the world with no commitments then you are not on the same page. Although all couples have to make compromises you should essentially want the same things out of life and be able to work towards them together.
He likes you best with no makeup on
Yes, you may think he is lying but the chances are that he really does prefer you au natural. He loves you for you, not for the clothes you wear or the make up you doll yourself up in. If he tells you you're pretty when you are cuddled up in your pyjamas then chances are that he means it.
You love him because of his flaws
It is wrong to think that to be ‘the one' your man has to be perfect. Nobody is perfect. He is ‘the one' when you know him well enough to see all his flaws, accept them for part of who he is, and love him just as much anyway.
He supports you in everything you do
Whether you are going for a job promotion or planning a night out with your friends - he should be your biggest cheerleader. He may not agree 100% with all your decisions but he will never stop you doing anything, will be there to offer advice and pick you up when things go wrong.
You trust him implicitly
If you have been hurt in the past it can be difficult to trust again, but it is an important part of any relationship. Your partner should earn your trust by proving that he always keeps his word and treats you with respect. No, you can never be 100% sure he won't stray but 99.5% will do.
Even your dad/best friend/dog likes him
OK, it shouldn't matter what other people think of him, but it is still nice to know that they approve. Your dad and best friend are only looking out for your best interests and it is difficult to convince them that somebody is good enough for you. If your boyfriend manages to get them on his side then you are probably on to a winner.
You wake up and feel lucky each morning
As you roll over in the morning and see him lying next to you, you are struck with a great sense of contentment. Here, out of everywhere in the world, is where you most want to be. You feel lucky to have him in your life and can't imagine sharing it with anyone else.
You stop noticing the cute guy at the coffee shop
Of course you are still going to find other men attractive but it is amazing how much less you notice them when you have found ‘the one'. Think about it, have you met anyone recently who really got your juices flowing? No? Then chances are he's right in front of you.
You just know
Sometimes there is no defining factor or moment that confirms he is ‘the one' - you just know. When your life is brighter with him in it (even with his annoying habits and football obsession), when you feel happy each morning and can't imagine your life without him, when you smile thinking about him - you just know.
She has a shield...he has one too...and they’re both hiding secrets.
Serious-minded Sandy Donovan has one unbreakable rule—never fall for a rich playboy. Falling for a playboy destroyed her mother and ruined Sandy's childhood. She's determined never to let the same thing happen to her. Unfortunately, the only man to make her hormones sit up and take notice is a playboy who doesn't know the first thing about taking life seriously.
A lonely, miserable childhood taught Cameron Berkeley-Scott to hide his feelings in humour, but his comic nature is pushing away the one woman he wants to draw near. She thinks he’s a playboy—a title he has no desire to have—and ignores his outrageous flirting.
Now it’s time for Cameron to show Sandy he isn't the irresponsible pleasure-seeker she thinks—but will she run when she finds out who he really is?
Excerpt:
Cameron came up behind her, covering her shoulders with his jacket in a gesture so caring it forced the tears she'd been fighting, as she’d thought of her mum, to her eyes.
He didn't remove his hands from her shoulders. "Why can't you, Sandy?" he asked on a low voice snatched away by the breeze. If he weren't standing so close, she would have missed his words. "I know you want me as much as I want you. We've been dancing around this attraction for three years and I'm ready to move to the next level."
"There isn't a 'next level'. What we have can never go anywhere."
He turned her to face him. "Why?"
She dropped her gaze to their feet. Her strappy red high-heels were only a couple of inches from his shiny black dress shoes. "Because it can't." Even to herself, she sounded defeated.
"It can't or you won't let it?"
She moistened her lips, raised her gaze back to his. "It's the same thing."
His eyes, dark with desire, dropped to her mouth. "I disagree." He held her chin with one hand while his other hand gently stroked her cheek. "Can't suggests something outside of your control stops you. Won't implies internal conflict. Which is it, Sandy? What’s really stopping you?"
How could she tell him she had a father wound so wide and deep she feared she'd never heal enough to let any man in? Taking a deep breath, she said, "You are, Cameron...you."
His brows shot up. "Me?"
"You're nothing more than a pretty-boy with daddy's millions to play with. I can't be with someone like you."
Snaking an arm around her waist, he drew her against him. "You're wrong, sweetheart...I'm so much more than that." In a smooth move, Cameron dipped his head and settled his lips on hers.
Recently, while procrastinating, I happened upon a comment on the Internet where someone had said they didn’t like that some romance stories no longer have the hero and heroine saying “I love you”. This resonated with me, since I too have been finding this same change in some romance books rather sad. It’s almost as if saying “I love you” is out of fashion when reading about falling in love is why most readers pick up romance novels.
That said, as romance authors, we are continually looking for ways to convey our characters' journey to falling in love. It is such a quest that brought me upon a book entitled The 5 Love Languages® by Dr. Gary Chapman, a practical guide on powerful ways for couples to express love. This book has inspired me to use these “languages” to communicate my hero and heroine’s ever-after, eternal love. Here is a brief description of the five key categories or five love languages to help you build your Hero/heroine’s romantic relationships. And boy am I juiced that saying “I love you” is #1!:
#1. Words of Affirmation
Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.
#2 Quality Time
In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.
#3 Receiving Gifts
Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.
#4 Acts of Service
Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.
#5 Physical Touch
This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.
According to Dr. Chapman, everyone has a primary way of expressing and interpreting love—their own “love language”. He says, too, that people are often drawn to others who speak a different love language to them.
I’m curious to find out which love language I am, how about you? I thought you might be!
Okay, go ahead, learn your love language. Take the fun quiz below.
I can't believe how long it's been since I last blogged! By now I expect I've lost all of my trusty followers (delicate eye-dab...sniff).
I've had a crazy time this last year. Talk about life interrupting big time! But it's a new year and I'm back now. Computer virus is history and while I'm still balancing on the edge of where I'm taking my writing next, I do have my screenwriting course to look forward to.
I know you will all be wondering what happened to the story I had with HMB. Well, I got a second revision letter but decided not to pursue it. Before you throw your arms in the air and proclaim me crazy, let me defend myself. While I got the fab revision letters, I didn't get any real guidance, therefore I could very well spend the next five years shooting in the dark trying to guess what the editor wanted from the story. In the end I had to face the facts...I will NEVER be a Harlequin Mills and Boon author. It was a hard decision, since I've been targeting HMB on and off for the last 20-odd years, but in the end I decided I needed to leave the past behind and move forward.
Zach's Rebound Girl is with my TWRP editor and I'm waiting to hear what she has to say. Meanwhile, I'm writing a story set on a private island and it's turning out to be a lot hotter than I normally write--perhaps it's the sultry Caribbean weather that's heating things up in the story.
So keep your eyes peeled for news about Zach's Rebound Girl and Island Fling.
Hope you are all having a fab start to the new year.
