If you know me, you know I mostly write reunion stories when I’m wearing my Romance Author’s hat. I just love the idea of finally getting together with your "one who got away" (OWGA).
In the past, I’ve used all sorts of plot ideas for the reasons my H/h went separate ways, but I’ve never tackled infidelity.
Mainly because I would never think or desire to cheat on my hubby and after twenty-two years together, he still treats me as if I’m the only woman alive. It makes me very secured in my marriage. Therefore, I find it difficult to grasp the deep emotional devastation such a betrayal would instil in an individual.
However, I know many people are not as blessed, and for whatever reason people cheat. As Christians, I would like to believe if my husband or I found ourselves in this situation, we would find a way to forgive each other and rebuild our trust in our marriage.
The more I think about this emotionally painful betrayal of the sacred sanctity of marriage, I find myself wondering what pushes a person to be unfaithful. Sure there are a trillion reasons, but what is the thinking when the cheater makes the decision to “go for it”? Is there even a moment when they consider consequences?
I’m thinking no one strays if they are happy in a relationship, right? So there must be something thought missing in the relationship. Maybe lack of quality time together? Non communication? Too busy for each other? Stopped trying?
Then when the infidelity is discovered is it too late to fix the relationship? I mean, there must be major trust issues to overcome. Then there’s also the core issues—what made them cheat in the first place.
Some people believe a partner having an affair is enough cause to end a relationship. I disagree. I believe a relationship can be rescued despite the crazy, sometimes impulsive, things people do. If these two people got married for love then nothing should be too difficult to overcome, if both parties are willing to work at fixing their relationship.
The Bible tells us about Wives and Husbands in Ephesians (5:25,28,31-33) Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave his life for it. Men ought to love their wives just as they love their own bodies. A man who loves his wife loves himself. As the scripture says, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and unite with his wife, and the two will become one”. There is a deep secret truth revealed in this scripture, which I understand as applying to Christ and the church. But it also applies to you: every husband must love his wife as himself, and every wife must respect her husband.
It’s very easy for me to say, if we all lived by this scripture, we’ll never hurt our beloved ones. However, I know we live in a fallen world, and we sometimes succumb to the enemy. The trick is not to let him win when he tries to take away what God has given us.
There is no excuse for hurting our loved ones. But surely, with forgiveness and a willingness to overcome hurt pride and work to rebuild trust, a relationship can be mended? And with hard work and prayer that restored section can become the strongest part of the garment of marriage.
Prayer, forgiveness, time, and patients, I think are important threads when it comes to mending relationships.
What do you think? I know some people have been hurt so badly that forgiveness doesn’t even feature in their minds as an option. Let me remind you, an unforgiving heart is a blessing blocker. You will never find happiness, even if you aren’t looking for another person to provide that happiness. You can never be truly happy within yourself, because you’ve allowed the enemy to rob you of the simple gift of joy from God.
I would like to hear your experiences. Have you ever cheated, been cheated on? Did you overcome the betrayal or left the relationship? If you have not had this experience, do you know of anyone who has? How did they react? I’m looking for inside information because I think I may tackle this subject in the future.
Thanks for sharing.